Politicking: The Truth Ain’t in the Puddin’

Laws banning same-sex marriage on the grounds of morality = Lie. Laws like NDAA, Patriot Act protecting citizens against terrorists = B.S. Proposed bills like SOPA  and PIPA protecting artists from copyright infringement = if only that was all it did. And the latest, potential legislation protecting fetuses from cannibalism? Think there might be a (not-so-hidden) agenda with that one?

Play this and sing along while reading the rest:

SENATE BILL 1418 By: Ralph Shortey

AS INTRODUCED

An Act relating to food; prohibiting the manufacture or sale of food or products which use aborted human fetuses; providing for codification; and providing an effective date.

BE IT ENACTED BY THE PEOPLE OF THE STATE OF OKLAHOMA:

SECTION 1. NEW LAW A new section of law to be codified in the Oklahoma Statutes as Section 1-1150 of Title 63, unless there is created a duplication in numbering, reads as follows:

No person or entity shall manufacture or knowingly sell food or any other product intended for human consumption which contains aborted human fetuses in the ingredients or which used aborted human fetuses in the research or development of any of the ingredients.

SECTION 2. This act shall become effective November 1, 2012

I’m not even going to try to tackle this one. Because Stephen D. Foster Jr. at AddictingInfo.org did it for us, with the necessary accompanying humor. Check out the full article. But here are a few punchy bits:

Obviously I completely support making it illegal to make or sell food that contains human fetuses if such a thing even exists (it doesn’t). But if you read the bill and think about it for a minute, it also covertly outlaws stem cell research and stem cell products used for medicinal purposes that could one day cure diseases such as Alzheimer’s and Parkinson’s disease among many other ailments. Depending on the source, stem cell treatments could fall under a ‘product that contains aborted human fetuses.’ You “consume” medicine in the same sense that you “consume” food; it enters the body and is processed in some fashion. Whether it is used for energy or to heal a damaged brain is irrelevant to this law….

It’s clear that Republicans are looking to trap Democrats with this bill. On the one hand, if Democrats vote in favor of the bill, Republicans will have succeeded in banning embryonic stem cell research and treatments. On the other hand, if Democrats vote against it, Republicans will accuse Democrats of wanting to eat fetuses….

Surfrider Japan Tsunami Debris Conference on Kauai

There’s been little news regarding what coastal communities should expect as the debris from the March 2011 tsunami starts showing up on the shores of Hawai’i. As it hits Midway and makes its way down the island chain, we can’t ignore the reality: It is coming. Considering how many people chose Hawai’i as their vacation destination; how many billionaires chose it as their home (or second or third home); and that our current President is from Hawai’i, one might imagine that more action would be taken to prevent the trash from dirtying our shorelines in the first place. Will it carry radioactive materials? Will it have diluted enough to not have a major impact? How will it effect our beaches? The marine life? Surfrider is bringing together experts in the field of marine biology, marine debris and ocean currents for this conference, which will take place at Kauai Community College cafeteria on Saturday, December 10th from 9am-12pm. Everyone who lives in or visits Hawai’i, everyone who cares about the environment and oceans, should either be at this event or watch it streaming at Livestream.com/surfriderkauai.

Getting Worse All the Time: Fukushima

Testing south of Tokyo showing large amounts of radiation in car air filters. Burning of radioactive materials throughout Japan. Why? And how will the children be paying for this? If we’re not removing the kids from these contaminated areas, how can we protect them? Everyone on this planet should be seriously concerned about and proactive regarding this situation, as it has and will continue to effect us all.

(Pass this link on to friends living in Japan: Chris Busby Foundation for the Children of Fukushima http://bit.ly/rn1KkO)

Overheard in Hawai’i: Campin’ Brah

Hawai’i offers up the best in overheard conversations. Some backdrop for today’s lil’ snippet: Summertime; a time when many of the locals camp at the beach all season long. And when locals camp, they do it right: showers, power, sometimes you’ll even find couches, fridges… the works. It’s like a home away from home. And it’s not just a couple people – the whole family (sisters, uncles, cousins, etc.) move in.

Today at a camp spot in Haena, I had the pleasure of overhearing a mom sprucing up, talking to the (extended) family about keeping their summer palace nice and clean:

What are da kine foot baths you put outside the door to soak your feet so you don’t get dirt in the house? We need one uh doze to keep the place clean. Ya ya ya were gonna hafta marry one Japanee I tink.

Classic.

Diary of a Harry Potter Addict Book Now Available

The new book, Diary of a Harry Potter Addict is out now! Paperback available at our Amazon affiliate eStore. eBook available via Amazon, iBookstore, and B&N with more online retailers to be added soon.

A humorous take on a serious issue, Diary of a Harry Potter Addict captures the struggles of an anonymous Harry Potter fan coming to grips with life post-Deathly Hallows. Part diary, part clinical narrative, the book spans several years in the character’s life, from the moment they first pick up Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone through their exploration of ways in which to manage – and eventually make the most of – their chronic Harry Potter addiction.

Utilizing diary entries, original artwork and interviews with members of the International Quidditch Association and the Harry Potter Alliance, the book offers alternative ways to ease the pain of saying good-bye to old friends and goes great with a swig of Butterbeer.

“An essential part of any respectable Harry Potter collection… A national treasure.” –Antiques Roadshow

“Not good. BRILLIANT!” -Rupert Grint (as Ron Weasley)

“A very interesting literary approach to the subject of Harry Potter Series End Disorder (HPSED)… These women are dangerous.” –Dr. Juana Fuchenstein, DFA

“I laughed… I found it a loving tribute to the fanbase and the running dialogue is great. I need to mention that the cover is awesome!” -Josh Guerrero, ETS

“I do have high hopes and fired imagination that DIARY OF A POTTER ADDICT will serve as the second and last stepping stone between amusing proposals and compensated publications.” –Michael Murphy, literary agent, tour guide, & putt-putt impresario

Coming Back Soon

Aloha, Thanks so much for your patience…even if you weren’t planning on being patient. Life is amazing through all it’s pain and beauty – sometimes it’s enough to simply try to persevere. A small sliver of light in the storm so we hope to be posting more Coconut Girl Wireless soon – this is just a forewarning. I don’t know how our readership grew so much while we were away but we appreciate. Mahalo mucho gusto.

CoconutGirlWireless News Tweets

Though we may, on occassion get a little bit behind here at CoconutGirlWireless, we’re regularly updating our news tweets. Follow CoconutGirl on Twitter! We follow back all eco-conscious surfers!

Billy Hamilton and Sava Dog Surfing Movie

Laird Hamilton’s daddy Billy Hamilton surfing with his awesome grrl dog Sava! Enjoy. And thanks to Allan Thomas for the music – check him out!

Hawai’i's Homesless Keiki: There Are Ways to Make Santa Real

The Christmas Wish Program (Project Hawai’i) is one of the charities we give to each year. It’s inspired by one hard workin’ wahine, Magin Patrick, who is like the fairy godmother to Hawai’i's homeless keiki. This year they’re extending their outreach from the Big Island and are even combing the beaches of Oahu, to find forgotten children whose families have resorted to camping out. Please, if can, make even the smallest donation. It is tax deductible and you may feel the joy right through the internet, that you fed a homeless child this holiday season and even provided them with a toy they never dreamed they would receive….

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As the holidays approach we are gearing up to provide thousands of homeless keiki living in poverty. Due to the increased poverty our islands face, we even have more keiki this year than ever before. We even recently found a new homeless camp on O’ahu with approximately 40 children. Santa needs your support to assure that our keiki are able to feel the love of the holiday season.

We will provide the keiki on the Big Island with a holiday dinner party with Santa. Every child will be able to visit Santa, have their photo with him and receive a wonderful gift. The keiki will also enjoy making crafts, playing games to win prizes and enjoy a wonderful hot nutritious meal with their family. These children also receive a stocking filled with hygiene and other great necessities to help enhance their lives.

The keiki on O’ahu will have their gifts delivered on Christmas Day to their communities. Santa’s elves will walk the beaches and bushes to assure that every child is able to have their wish come true. Keiki also receive a holiday meal and hygiene stocking as well.

YOU CAN MAKE THIS A REALITY FOR THOSE WHO WOULD OTHERWISE GO WITHOUT! Make your donation online with the click of a button. Or you can mail your donation to: Project Hawai’i, INC., Christmas Wish Program, P.O. Box 1844, Kea’au, HI 96749. All Donations are Tax Deductible!

$25.00 Sponsors a Child’s Wish; $15.00 Sponsors a Stocking; $35.00 Sponsors a Family Meal; $7.00 Sponsors a Child’s Meal.

PARTY SPONSORSHIP: $100.00 Game Table; $150.00 Craft Table; $200.00 Main Dish Meal Item; $125.00 Side Dish/Dessert Item

Mahalo for Your Kokua, ~Magin Patrick

Chatting with SurfingList’s Brett Hollman

My local community has an amazing monthly board swap but if you aren’t so lucky and Craigslist isn’t cutting it, SurfingList may be for you. Here we have a quick chat with surfer and SurfingList creator Brett Hollman….

How did SurfingList get started?

I started SurfingList about six years ago with the idea that there were better communities than Craigslist for surfers that could provide more relevant local sites with items such as wetsuits, surfboards, surf reports, forums for surfers, beach condos for rent in the local surf community, and so on.

What are the advantages of using it over Craigslist?

SurfingList incorporates items for sale with other local items such as the surf forecast, surf report, forums, surf travel information, and places to upload photos rather than the much larger and diverse community Craigslist has created. SurfingList is a niche community where Craigslist is a community for all.

How many states / countries does Surfing List support? What are the goals?

SurfingList has 27 local sites right now and will continue to expand as we add more US and international destinations.

Do you find because airline fees are now so high (or there are so many restrictions) that more people are looking for sites that help them find boards once they arrive at their destination?

Hollman gettin' some luv at Playa Grande, Costa Rica

Actually, that is a very good point and I would recommend people use the site for that reason as well. I have bought and sold a used board when traveling and SurfingList is the perfect location for a surfer to do just that.

What are some of your favorite surfing locales?

Well, I live in the San Diego area and love many North County areas such as Cardiff Reef, Swamis, and various breaks in Leucadia. As far as travel, I am a huge fan of Maui where I once lived and just got back from El Salvador which was an amazing surf trip with perfect right hand points.

Have you gotten any cool surfer celeb feedback?

Unfortunately not, but I do live down the street from Rob Machado, so you never know.

Check out SurfingList at SurfingList.com

The End of Surfing

And we thought it happened with SUPs and the soulless Costco boards. Welcome, the Chanel surfboard. Hmm, then again, I would have loved to go surfing with CoCo….

Hands Across the Sand this Saturday

Many of us will be driving our cars to the beach this weekend. That’s okay. Hands Across the Sand is a movement made of people of all walks of life and diverse political affiliations and modes of transportation. This is more about the universal quest to utilize optional, clean power sources. The Hands Across the Sands event this Saturday, June 26th, is about people, joining together to make a statement about their concerns and express their desire to protect our coastal economies, oceans, marine wildlife, and fishing industry, particularly  from the devastating effects of off-shore oil drilling. This group started before the tragedy in the Gulf (and the spills in the Red Sea and the Great Barrier Reef this year).

A Message To The World

Hands Across the Sand is now international. Check the website to find groups organized in your area, or help plan your own. Any person in any country may plan events on this website. This is a peaceful gathering of the people of the world. Planning an event is as simple as this:

• Go to your beach on June 26 at 11 AM in your time zone.
• Form lines in the sand and at 12:00, join hands.

The image is powerful, the message is simple.  NO to Offshore Oil Drilling, YES to Clean Energy.

The Movement Started

In Florida on Saturday, February 13, 2010, a statewide gathering against offshore oil drilling occurred. Thousands of Floridians representing 60 towns and cities and over 90 beaches joined hands to protest the efforts by the Florida Legislature and the US Congress to lift the ban on oil drilling in the near and off shores of Florida. Florida’s Hands Across The Sand event was the largest gathering in the history of Florida united against oil drilling. Thousands joined hands from Jacksonville to Miami Beach and Key West to Pensacola Beach, each against oil drilling in Florida’s waters.

Mission Statement

1. To organize a national movement to oppose offshore oil drilling and champion clean energy and renewables. These gatherings will bring thousands of American citizens to our beaches and cities and will draw metaphorical and actual lines in the sand; human lines in the sand against the threat oil drilling poses to America’s coastal economies and marine environment.
2. To convince our State Legislators, Governors, Congress and President Obama to stop the expansion of offshore oil drilling and  to adopt policies encouraging clean and renewable energy sources.   America needs legislation that creates tax incentives and subsidies to encourage the growth of clean energy and renewable industries for America’s future.

PLAY VIDEO
Join hands with us and draw a line in the sand against offshore oil drilling.

Here’s where it’s happening in Hawai’i. Thanks to Frankie Stapleton of Hilo for the heads up. Note the times for the Hilo event are earlier in the day — see below.

Haleiwa, Waimea Bay – North Shore, Oahu

Amy Graves / John Bojus

usurfer88@aol.com

61-031 Kamehameha Highway, Haleiwa

Hanalei Bay, Hanalei Black Pot Beach

Rebekah Haroldsen ; littlemiss4747@yahoo.com

Hanalei Beach next to Pier: Kuhio Hwy to Hanalei. Turn right on Aku. This road ends at Weke Road. Turn right continue to Hanalei Pavilion Beach Park or Black Pot Beach. Black Pot Beach is closest to Pier end of road.

Hilo, Hilo Bay

Frankie Stapleton ; frankiestapleton@hotmail.com ; 808/9658945

Hilo Bay event set for 8-9 a.m., Hilo Bayfront

The Hilo event is planned for earlier in the day from the other Hawaii sites (Waikiki and Laniakea on Oahu, Hapuna in West Hawaii) because Moku O Hawaii’s Keaukaha Canoe Regatta will be taking place all day long along Hilo’s Bayfront. Moku O Hawaii OCRA has graciously agreed to join our effort and we’re going to gather at 7:30 a.m. Saturday, on the seashore closest to Pauahi Street in Hilo, with our ceremony taking place at 8 a.m.

Honolulu, Waikiki Beach

Rob Barreca ; rob@surfbeyond.com ; 808-224-1905

Near Duke Statue (kalakaua And Uluniu). Meet down on Waikiki Beach near the movie screen on the sand, just next to the intersection of Kalakaua and Kapahulu.

Kaanapali, Kahekili Beach Park

Darla White ; onareef@yahoo.com

To get to Kahekili Beach Park, drive west on the Honoapi’ilani Highway (State Route 30) through Lahaina and past Ka’anapali Parkway on the left. Turn left at the next traffic signal, Kai Ala Drive (the road on the right at this intersection is named Puukolii Road). Kahekili Beach Park’s parking lot is straight ahead. It looks like you’re going into the Westin parking lot, but in fact, that lot is to the right.

Kailua-kona, Pine Trees

Leilani Lee ; leeleilani@aol.com

Kamuela, Hapuna Beach State Park

Eve Kuhlmann: lavamomeve@yahoo.com ; 415-342-9532

Mile marker #69 on Highway 19 Queen K

Kapaa, Lydgate Park

Diana LaBedz, Surfrider Foundation: DianaLaBedz@aol.com ; 808-337-9977

Gather at Lydgate State Park, on the east shore of Kauai.

Makena, Makena State Beach (Big Beach)

Amy: amytanzman@gmail.com ; 310-270-6244

Head south on the Piilani Highway (Hwy 31). When the road dead ends at the Shops of Wailea, make a left onto Wailea Alanui. Head south for a few miles past all the resorts into the town of Makena. We will gather at the first entrance to Makena Beach.

Napili Bay, Maui

K. Schall ; yourcaldream@yahoo.com

Highway 30 to Napilihau, to bottom, then left, one mile down lower road……please join us on our beautiful beach that is constantly giving to us…Time to give back….See you there..:)

Northshore Oahu, Laniakea Beach

Patrick Doyle / Trisha Kehaulani Watson ; honudude06@aol.com

Laniakea Beach is located at the 4 mile marker of Kamehameha Hwy on Northshore of Oahu

Paia, Baldwin Beach

Keesha ; dharmakeesh@gmail.com ; 808-283-9886

Baldwin Beach Park, Paia: Approx. a mile west of Pa’ia, at the 6-mile marker off Hana Hwy/State Hwy 36

Paia Maui, Ho’okipa

Ocean Defender ; orianak808@yahoo.com

Ho’okipa Beach Park, North Shore Maui.

GREENPEACE PETITION: NO NEW DRILLING PERIOD

Greenpeace blog

Swimsuits Surfer Girls Should NOT Wear

Amazing surfer. Awesome suit. If this stays on in the water we're all for it. (from Malia Jones' SI/Walter Iooss Jr. shoot a few years back)

There are always issues when fashion eludes function, and visa versa, and this is certainly the case with water gear for surfer girls. Personally, I feel companies who have sold themselves as girl / women surf companies, though they have some lovely clothes, have let the average Jo surfer girl down in terms of truly awesome surf suits. In Hawai’i, we surf with some of the hottest pro surfer girls in the world, all hard-bodied and perfection. Hello world, we are not all built that way! Some women’s boobs actually jiggle and laugh in the face of a stretchy sliding spaghetti strap! In this post (which we’ll likely add to) we look at some surfer girl swimsuit don’ts….

The halter: It may make the boobage look all pushed together, snuggly, and a little mo’ big, but the halter is the worst kind of bathing suit top for a surfer girl. Fashion statements are one thing. I have a nice, yellow, bust-enhancing halter from Victoria Secrets, which does magical things, but it’s for wearing on the beach (for short spurts) not on my board. Why? Surfer girls have enough problems with neck strain; why put additional pull on the neck while we surf. You may not feel it while it’s happening, but your neck and shoulder muscles are compensating. Beware; especially larger breasted women. Unless you are spider-bite sized, you should avoid the halter. The crisscrossed back and sports bra styles seem to offer the best boob and postural

A zipper on the chest - Roxy, really?

support and consistent coverage for bigger surf. Now if only form and function could evolve beyond the compressed boob-flattening that the sporty suits create. There are a few brands out there…but there needs to be more!

The Tankini: These often offer nice comfy support and are lovely for women who don’t want to show the belly. Unfortunately for the surfer girl they have a habit of riding up, or down, while surfing. And body surfing – ferget it! – the boob always pops out the top. Unless you can find one that’s secure fitting, you’re best to get a nice rash guard to cover up.

cute but not functional

Board Shorts with Elastic Waist Bands: These are often offered at a Costco and seem like a good deal, until they’re around your ankles after a wipe-out. Though even Hurley and Billabong make them now, and they’re making their way into the surf stores, I recommend only wearing this style out and about or for jogs on the beach. The exception is for the full-figured surfin’ wahine who can stretch out the elastic all the way or their bootay is bootayfull enough to keep ‘em up and… they ain’t goin’ nowhere. Simply an observation: guys who wear elastic board shorts are 99% of the time not surfers.

Board Shorts with Fake Ties and Fake Pockets: While we’re on the subject… why put a friggin’ tie in the front of a board short if it has no functional purpose? And by that I mean, why not make it functional!? Why put a pocket on girl’s board shorts if you don’t bother making it so the wax could stay in it? And by that I mean, would it really cost that much more to have the velcro go that extra inch across the whole pocket, g-d forbid you did such skimping on same brand’s men’s boardshorts – just sayin’. These are a few of the little things I’ve wondered about… for the past 20 years. No big deal, surely they’ll give me a good answer some day. Or maybe this needs to go in the NASA pile: things the geniuses at NASA will have to invent once the space program is null and void and they can invent high-IQ solutions and inventions that couldn’t be accomplished by the common man.

Suits with Embellishments: Unfortunately, some cute suits (like the deals you find at Ross) have weird embellishments in odd places. Like O-rings on the front of the hip or between the bust – ouch. Dangling beads also suck when you jump back on the board and have no time to reposition because you need to paddle back out before the next big set. I remember when Xcel had the plastic adjuster for the elastic cinch on their womens (not mens!) wet suit tops in the front, making it awfully painful when lying on the board. They should have made a public apology and refunded everyone (hey, I still have a few). After many complaints they did realize women would actually be surfing in it and repositioned it like the men’s version.

Honey Girl makes their sporty tops cute, supportive, with a light SEWN-IN padding… but maybe a little more sexy? & make the halter on the right with a crisscross back!

 

Bikini Bottoms with Tie Strap Sides: These are fine in small waves, but the thing about the surf, it has a way of undressing you. When it happens you will be happy if the side that unties is not the side with the leash, if ya know what I mean. Many a surfer girl has paddled in nekkid; don’t let this happen to you.

If you have the perfect surf swimsuit, send a pict or link! If you are a big surf company and want to see all the dream wahine water gear I’ve been designing in my mind for ten years, give me a buzz. If you’ve had a horrible surf swimsuit experience, send it in for another post!

Surfers Are NOT All Stoners

…But They Can Make Amazing Stoner Art!

Taken from the web site: Wonder How To: “Surfer, chef, and artist Jim Denevan ‘makes temporary drawings on sand, earth, and ice that are eventually erased by waves and weather.’ Check out these beautiful ephemeral designs, crafted on the beaches of Northern California.”

More luscious picts at Jim Denevan’s web site: http://www.jimdenevan.com

Tiger Shark Nibbles in Hanalei Bay

We can’t always get mad at the sharks when we get in the way of their feeding frenzy. Yesterday afternoon a tiger shark (who’s been spotted cruising Hanalei Bay the past week or so) got a little close for comfort. Reportedly a baby whale has been hanging out in the bay and a few big sharks followed it in. And supposedly the turtles were going bonkers. One of the surfers –Jim Rawlinson– had his board bit off by a large shark.” Missing was the leash, two fins and a chunk out of the tail of the surfboard, carving teeth marks approximately 1.25 inches, which supposedly translates to a 14 foot shark (every 1 inch equaling 10 feet).

Just for the record, when the shark hit his board Jim rolled off onto the sharks back. He stayed calm and realized it would be best to detach himself from the shark, which was pulling him by the leash. While the crowd scurried to the shore, 68-year-young Rawlinson, realizing he still had one fin left, continued to surf for maybe an hour and reported that he got two really good waves….

Since the tsunami there’s been some anomalies in the waters here, especially in regards to many deep water fishes appearing in more shallow waters (Tigers are much less common and there was even a Great White making an appearance last month); more about that soon. So will that stop the surfers from paddling out at the bay today? Doubtful…surf’s up!

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Hey, did you never read our post “Sharks, Swells & Stinky Smells“? Get on it!

Btw, the Bay WAS as busy as ever. Okay, maybe a few of us kept our feet up but everyone was out there!